Public Speaking: Learn to control your fear.

Public speaking can be terrifying, and I know this feeling all too well. Previously, I, like many others, was afraid of the idea of speaking to an audience, no matter how small their size. During my primary and junior high school years, I was a known talkative, however, my chattiness was only limited to conversations with my friends. Whenever I had to speak to other people, I mumbled, stuttered, and rushed through my speech just to get done with it and disappear.

Source: The Futures Initiative

Indeed, speaking to an audience discomfited me so much that, as a deputy boys’ prefect, I carefully avoided speaking at student gatherings, something prefects were required to do often. This fear of speaking crippled me for so long until I got into the university. Despite this fear, I had a strong desire to be an On-Air-Personality. One day, a generous man agreed to give me a foot in the door at a local radio station, an opportunity I couldn’t let pass. I gratefully took this opportunity, however, owing to my fear, I bungled my initial appearances on air. I was inarticulate, diffident, and my voice trembled whenever I spoke. Embarrassed, I realized the only way to succeed, was to get rid of my fear. I made conscious efforts to learn how to control my fears, and after a great deal of effort and time, I grew more comfortable and confident speaking to an audience.

                                                    
                                                                Source: MillsWyck Communications.

The fear of public speaking can be paralyzing. However, from my experience, you realize that the fear of public speaking, like any other fear, is one that can be surmounted. I will share with you how the fear of failure and the unknown, and the idea that public speaking is a skill reserved for few, aggravate our anxieties. I will also suggest how to control your fear of public speaking by accepting speaking responsibilities, focusing on what you have to give, and preparing adequately.

While detrimental, the fear of public speaking is not unfounded. It stems from the famous fear of the unknown. As humans, we worry about the outcome of our actions, and whenever outcomes are uncertain, we become uneasy. This explains, in part, the fear of public speaking. We attempt to predetermine the outcome of our speaking engagement. For instance, we worry whether or not our audience will receive our message, whether or not they will laugh at our jokes, whether or not they will be kind to our mistakes, whether or not we will fail, and a whole lot. However, since we can’t accurately determine these outcomes, we grow apprehensive, and it dents our confidence and affects our performance.

Some people have yielded to their fears and have pronounced themselves unfit for public speaking. They are convinced that public speaking is a gift that nature did not give them. A gift that is reserved for an elite group of people that they are no part of. Contrary to this popular opinion, public speaking is a skill, like any other, that can be learned and honed through practice. This limiting idea that public speaking is a reserved gift, and not a skill, is as a result of our fears, and until we learn to erase this thought, our fears will forever hold us captive. Here are a few tips to help you control your fears:

source: amazon

First, accept speaking responsibilities. The only way of overcoming your fear of public speaking is to speak in public. After all, no one ever won a battle without fighting in it. This article and many useful others will be of no help if you do not speak after you learn from them. So, it doesn’t matter the occasion or the nature of the speech: whether it’s a welcome address at a family gathering, a presentation in class, a proposal of toast at a friend’s birthday party, or speech to an assembly, accept the invitation. Declining such invitations only magnifies your fear, and diminishes our capacity to overcome it. Instead of saying no, accept all invitations to speak. This is the first step in your battle with speaking anxiety. Remember, every yes you say provides you an opportunity to face your fears.

After you say yes to the invitation, focus on what you can give your audience. We spend an undue amount of time focusing on ourselves and our anxieties, instead of focusing on what matters: our content. If you fill your mind with your content, there will not be enough room for your anxieties. Always remember that you were selected to speak because whoever selected you knows you have something valuable to offer. So instead of worrying about your anxieties, spend time to find and give your audience the value you possess.

Finally, prepare adequately. Unless it is an impromptu speech, prepare as much as possible. Preparation is the most important step in the public speaking process. Not only does it help you to identify and correct your flaws, but it also increases your confidence. Besides, it allows you to focus your energies externally towards your audience, rather than internally, towards your anxieties. Remember you can never be too prepared. So, prepare, prepare, and prepare.

The fear of public speaking, like any other fear, is surmountable. Instead of feeding it, learn to say yes to invitations to speak, focus on what you have to give your audience, and prepare. These will help you in your fight against your fear of speaking to an audience.

You can share your experience of communication anxiety with us in the comment section. We will be excited to know how you are dealing with it.